Before I Met You
by Lady Sings the Bluesx3
Summary: Songfic. Riley has finally gotten off the streets and fallen in love. But even thuglife hasn't made him immune to his biggest fears.


_Damn_ her. She blew my mind, she really did. How could I have doubted her all those years we grew up together? How could I have seen right through her? She was everything I used to dream of but never noticed was right in my face. I never wanted to be without her again. The word soul mate dared to enter my mind but I never used it. This felt like so much more than that corny shit. I still barely understood it. Everything about it made my feel like I was losing my damn mind. Just watching her sketch a picture(one of her newest hobbies) was driving me crazy. I wanted to say something to her but I wasn't sure how it would sound and I didn't wanna sound like a softass nigga. If there was thing I wasn't sure of in our relationship, it was how she really felt about me. I was always nervous that she'd reject me or worse…leave me…so I kept my thoughts to myself. "_You changed my life in so many ways. I just look back to how I used to be and how you dealt with me. I just want to thank you for_…" Everything? Yeah, everything. Accepting me the way I was but changing me regardless.

_Just in case I never see your face again (face again)  
>Just in case the worst was meant to happen (happen)<br>Just in case tomorrow never come, there is something you should know (should know)  
>I've given you every bit of the man I am (of the man I am)<br>I know at times it wasn't pretty but it was all I had  
>I never held back not one lil bit and the world can attest to this<br>And baby you flipped my program upside down (listen to me now)_

"What are you looking at?" Jazmine asked smirking. I didn't answer her. I was still watching her but I couldn't say anything. I was thinking about when she finally got tired of being treated like shit by my retarded brother. She'd been crying and when I finally came to comfort her, I didn't realize how much I'd actually wanted to be there for her. But I waited four years to tell her like a dumbass. I'd always been scared by Jazmine. She was the first girl I ever loved and I didn't even understand my feelings. She would always come watch me play basketball and cheer for me even if I was just making free throws by myself. She had a little fourteen year old nigga all sprung and shit. The way she would smile at me, or brush her hand over mine. She smelled so good… "Riley?" Her voice raised and she grabbed my attention. "Huh?"

_I was a hustler and player girl  
><em>_Before I met you  
>I'd drink a lil something then hit a lil something<br>__Before I met youBut how you made a difference, ooh look what I've been missing  
>You got my life together and I thank you forever<br>I really used to throw a lot  
><em>_Before I met you  
>But I do one every night and sometimes I had two<br>But all that done changed my game my frame of mind you got it right  
>And I love you life, girl I love you for life<em>

She knew how I was before we got together when I was twenty and she was twenty-two. I was with sleeping with every bitch I came across _and_ I was on the streets but that was three years ago. She was the one who drew me back to Woodcrest. She'd stayed here to go to a state college, thanks to her paranoid daddy. Huey got a scholarship to Brown. I could tell she really missed him. She didn't think I saw her, heard her crying sometimes. He didn't seem to give a shit that he broke her heart before he left. He ain't want her, he wanted to stay friends, though. When he visited, he tried to act like he ain't care that she was with me. I didn't give a damn what he thought anyway. I only cared about her. She reminded me that I loved basketball, that I loved to draw. I'd left all that shit behind and carried the thug life with me. She taught me so much about myself everyday. I never knew she could open my heart the way she did. I had to do all I could to return the favor. I was willing to go to the ends of the earth for her. I'd do anything to make her stop crying. I'd make sure that everywhere we went, everybody knew I loved her. She always clung to me like she felt the same, but there's no telling with Jazmine. Huey mighta froze that heart a little bit. Anyway, nobody would've ever guessed I had a soft side. Yeah, aight, I liked The Notebook and always told her which color looked best on her. Niggas would call me whipped but, shit, I ain't care. All that mattered was _her, _keeping _her_ happy, being there for _her _as much as I could. And not letting _her_ down…like she always suspected I would.

_There was so many times I wasn't there for you  
>And for everyone of those times I hated myself for<br>The way I went about it the ups and the downs one foot in while the other foot's out  
>Loving on you loving on another and I ain't no different from any other brother<br>What I did to you right here right now in this here place  
>In this here space as my heart pour out as I state my case as I break it down<br>To tell you where I'm coming from so you've seen the good you've done  
>So you've feel the change you've made stay with me everyday<em>

"Are you gonna go to work?" Oh shit, work. I almost forgot. I was too busy daydreaming and shit. I looked down at my gayass red Target shirt. "Yeah. I'm goin" I told her. "I like this song." Jazmine shrugged. "Duuuuuuuh" she sang. "It's _Usher_. Everything he makes is gold." Her face lit up as she continued to sketch. "Whatchu drawin' anyway?" I asked, walking over to take a look. I couldn't stop my eyes from wandering as I approached her. She had her long, creamy legs tucked underneath her and she resting the pad on her lap. Her crazyass, orange-ish hair was down, the way she always kept it when she drew. I liked it that way, made her look kinda…like a lion and that's my favorite animal. Her perfect pink lips were pouted and her nose was wrinkled in concentration. And finally, my eyes reached hers, her eyes that always sparkled for me. She added the finishing touches to the picture then she flipped it around for me to see. It made me smile instantly. It was a picture of me, Huey, her, Cindy and Caesar. They were all like thirteen years old and I was eleven. "That is _so_ us" she cooed, admiring her drawing.

_I was a hustler and player girl  
><em>_Before I met you  
>I'd drink a lil something then hit a lil something<br>__Before I met you  
>But how you made a difference, look what I've been missing<br>You got my life together and I thank you forever  
>I really used to throw a lot<br>But I do one every night and sometimes I had two  
>But now all that done changed my game my frame of mind you got it right<br>And I love you life yo, I love you for life_

"I was such a little badass" I mumbled sitting down next to her. "Still are" she grinned, elbowing me. "Look at you, all up on my brother." I frowned at the drawing and she waved a hand at me. "You know I was still crushing hard back then. But now…" She leaned against me, lifting her hair up to tie it. "Welcome to the dark side." She giggled quietly, still holding onto the sketchpad. "Glad I came over." The room was dead with a comfortable silence before I sighed. "You know, I never wanna go back to the way I was before I had you." She closed her eyes peacefully in agreement. "I never knew you had such a soft side before." I sucked my teeth. Yeah, okay. "Girl please, I didn't have shit 'til you…" I paused, trying to find the right thing to say. Damn. It wasn't like me to be at a loss for words. "I don't even know how to explain it, Jazzy."

_Girl if I died tonight before I wake  
>Know that you touched my life in oh so many ways<br>And sugar this song is this I had to give would you remember  
>Remember my heart remember it was good remember that I tried as long as I could<br>Remember that I gave till I had nothing else remember my voice  
><em>_Tellin' you that.._

She smiled, her eyes still closed. "I already know" she whispered as the song started to play over again. "Okay, I don't like this song that much. You can change it now" I said half-joking. Half. "Naw. I'm never turning it off." I looked down at her and then up at the clock. Almost time for work, damn. I could've stayed like that with her under me all day. That was another thing I loved about her. That was what made her different from the other girls. It wasn't like all I thought about was having sex with her. I wanted to be friends with her and listen to her and walk with her. Don't get me wrong though, I ain't no gay nigga. I still get it in. "Man, I know how Usher feels though. You never think anybody's gonna change you like that and then this women comes along. It's like she got everything you're missin'" She turned her head to look at me. "I've got nothing, though." I rolled my eyes. She was high, right? "You _really_ don't know do you? That life I was livin', I wanted to be that way…I thought I did but I guess I wanted somethin' more. You think I gave that up for no reason?" I paused to take in her expression. "I gave it up for you." Then her eyes got all shiny. Oh _God_.

__I was a hustler and player girl  
><em>___Before I met you  
><em>___I'd drink a lil something then hit a lil something  
><em>___Before I met you  
><em>___But how you made a difference, look what I've been missing  
><em>___You got my life together and I thank you forever  
><em>___I really used to throw a lot  
><em>___But I do one every night and sometimes I had two  
><em>___But now all that done changed my game my frame of mind you got it right  
><em>___And I love you life yo, I love you for life__

"Oh come _on_" I yelled, jumping up quickly and laughing at her. "I knew yo corny ass was gonna cry!" She stood up too, her eyes wild. "So don't say touching things!" she matched my tone, laughing and crying at the same time. She held out her arms toward me and we were in each other's arms, kissing like I was leaving forever or some shit. But that's how it always was. "Girl, you gonna make me late" I mumbled, still touching her lips against mine. She tasted so_ sweet_. "Late-_er_." She pushed me toward the door, laughing lightly. "Go on, get out. Go make some money, bring home some bread." When I was outside, we exchanged I love you's. She closed the door slowly while I savored her smile. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the velvety black box. "When the hell I am gonna ask her?" I asked myself. I knew for sure that I wanted her but…I still wondered if she wanted me. What if she said no? What if I wasn't good enough? Sometimes all I had to give would never feel like enough. After all, she deserved more than I could give her. I felt something twinkle in my own eye. This is what love does to you. _Damn you, Jazmine_. "Who's corny now?" I asked aloud, wiping my tear away as I headed down the hall.

_Remember, remember, remember, remember  
><em>_Would you remember  
><em>_Remember, remember, remember  
><em>_Would you remember  
><em>_Remember, remember, remember  
><em>_Would you remember  
><em>_Remember, remember, remember_

* * *

><p>First story, tell me what you think! I really love this song and it made me think of Riley, so whoop! There it is :)<p> 


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